Alone and Awesome

Being single, silly, and secure

Misunderstood

Good day, my lovely peoples.

I’m a little mellowed-out today. Not feeling the best. I suppose I knew it was coming—I’ve been overthinking and that causes me to stress-out, which in turn can make me sick, both literally and physically. So now I have to deal with the consequences of overthinking.

Yay…

Anyway, how has your week been? Mine has been complicated. The things that have caused my over-thinking have been rolling around above my head like the consistent thunderstorms we’ve been experiencing.

Don’t you hate it when you find out you misunderstood something that happened? I did this during class Thursday and I let it get to me, only to find out, the next day, that there was a reasonable explanation and I was being dramatic.

I over-reacted because I hadn’t learned the truth of the event.

This is a depressing and embarrassing position to be in. We think we know why someone does something, only to discover it was our imagination playing with us.

I wrote of something similar to this: “Dating your Invisible Friend” was the title of that post… at least I’m thinking it was. I should review it and update the information. To recap, I’ll explain a little:

We let ourselves take the image of a person we know and find somewhat attractive, and then, in the backs of our minds, we recreate them into the perfect match for us. Thus, in our heads we see this person as a completely acceptable mate in life, only to find that, when we are with them, they are not acting how they’re supposed to. This causes frustration and sometimes even serious fights.

Our mind is a powerful thing, and when we misunderstand things it can cause terrible consequences that may never be evaluated properly. Sometimes we continue to live with our misunderstanding and never realize it was our own imagination that caused the problem we’re dealing with.

People that overthink things tend to run into this a lot—at least as far as I’ve seen. I’ve befriended people who, if I am in a bad mood—because, say, I spilled coffee on my pants that morning, but I never told them that—they will take my bad mood personally, get offended, and then give me the silent treatment when I had no beef with them in the first place and was unaware of their misunderstanding and never able to fix the problem.

Does that make sense…? Because it’s hard to explain. I am commonly chipper to the people I know, but some days I am silent and grim as death and won’t speak to them in fear of saying something cruel. When this happens people will assume things are just going badly for me at the time, but a select few will think I have something against them and get angry.

Understand?

Okay.

Moving on.

We can’t help it when we don’t understand something that happened, or why someone does something unlike them, (or that we don’t agree with).

Sometimes all we can do is stand aside and wait for the answers to be revealed. The worst thing we can do is react badly, come up with our own theories to make sense of the situation, and then act upon them. This is where fights happen. This is where pain is felt.

As said before, our mind is a powerful thing, and if you take that for granted you will feel the hurt, as well as hurt the people around you.

There is a reason why communication is direly important in any kind of relationship that you want to keep and nurture. Misunderstandings happen all the time, but if we don’t communicate with out loved ones then thing can go wrong fast.

We live in a world that makes the concept of “talking about it” sound like a lame idea, or an embarrassing and even childish way of dealing with things. To talk about your problems will make you look weak or silly, right? It will make you feel vulnerable, right? It will give the other person ideal material to judge you, right?

Well, what if they care about the relationship just as much as you? Did you consider that maybe, just maybe, they want the relationship to work out also? Or to fix the damage that had been done?

Hmm…

I can’t say for sure how all people act, but a lot of people respond badly to sitting down to discuss problems. In fact, in my experience, taking a walk to talk about things tends to help the words come easier… but that’s just a suggestions. My reasoning behind this is thus: when you sit down and face each other it can feel a lot like being “cornered” and “forced” to speak. If you take a walk there’s a sense of freedom and trust that you won’t make a break for it. Plus, the walking helps you keep your mind clear and the exercise, no matter if it’s a slow or brisk walk, will feel good.

Just a thought…

Now, I’ve reached the point of this post, but I have to admit that I went into this blog post thinking about a lot of problems I’ve been having…

I’m sitting here wishing I could take my own advice to talk about my issues with the person(s) I’m in conflict with, but I’m leaning more towards finding a way to escape and run for my life. To disappear from the lives of the people I should really just talk to.

You see, I can understand the right way to do things just fine, but still be too scared to take my own advice. So be comforted in the fact that you’re not alone. It’s sometimes scary to approach someone with a problem you need to talk about to reconcile your mind. I know I’m frightened… I dealt with one issue yesterday, but there is still another hanging over my head that I know is only me overthinking, and I know I can clear it up quick and easily, but I’m still frightened to do so.

It’s not fun, my lovely peoples.

It. Is. Not. Fun…

I look forward to the day when I finally face this misunderstanding and feel the relief of knowing what really happened. But until God gives me the right timing and the courage to mention it, or pursue the topic if it is brought up, I’ll continue to stand aside and try to clear my mind so I don’t overreact, which I tend to do…

I’d rather not hurt anyone over my misunderstanding.

As I said, everyone is different. I know what I need to do, but finding the strength to do it is difficult….

Well, food for thought! I guess…

Have a good weekend, peoples. And don’t worry, I’m sure the situation is not as bad as it seems.

Take courage!

As I pray for the strength to take up my own advice…

E.L.M.

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