Hello, my peoples!
You came back? I’m so proud of you.
So, just saying, my last post was hurried. I didn’t have time to say all I wanted to and what I did not say was sorely missed by some people. I am concerned I may appear to be sexist or even sound like someone who has given up on love. This is not true at all and I will explain. I don’t like explaining myself, so the Bible will help me, (also, please note I am eating a slab of salmon while I write. Food is my current companion after all).
My foundation for this blog is 1 Corinthians 7. I would suggest reading the whole chapter to keep in context, but I will hit on the main points that explain why being a single woman is okay, (PS. I am quoting out of the NKJV).
1 Cor. 7:20 – “Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called.”
Before this verse is… the whole chapter. Well, yes. It goes over how married, single, and widowers should behave. PLEASE go read it; maybe even before you read this post. Actually, yes, bring out your phone or Bible and read this chapter, then this post. Okay? You read it?
Let’s move on.
Now, if the man has no self control he should get married, [verse 9, which you should know if you read the chapter, hint, hint]. If he has control it is good for him to be alone. If the wife is not saved but wants to stay with you then let her stay; all that good stuff! Now it all leads to this verse which tells us to be faithful to our calling. I am single, I am not passionately pursuing men, nor do I feel the need to. So to be single is something I feel I should do and it brings me peace just knowing that I am a beloved child of The Great I Am. I am not sad. I am not lonely. This is because Jesus the Christ is my constant companion and friend. What I do not find in my family and friends I find in Him; comfort and completion. This is one of the reasons I do not need a man and why it is okay to be single.
1 Cor. 7:32-35 – “But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord – how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world – how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about things of the world – how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.”
The underlined points are things I wanted to touch on; “that she may be holy both in body and in spirit.” Am I the only one here who thinks that is awesome? To be fully holy; chasing God. With every step I become purer, sturdier, and more in love with the creator of the universe!
Kind of a cool thought, right?
Then this part, “not that I may put a leash on you.” Nobody wants to feel like they have to get married. The Apostle Paul is telling us these things so we understand our freedom. We are not a shame if we are single. We are strong in the Lord. With Him and His love we don’t need anything else. We are perfect to Him.
Alright… I think I’ve explained my foundation well enough. More questions will arise and I will meet them as I see fit. Thank you to those who shouted at me. I did, in fact, yell back.
Now, there is another thing I wanted to say:
I hope to be married one day.
– You: *Gasp!* But you’re against marriage!
– Me: Uuh, what? What??? That isn’t the point I wanted to make at all. Wow, I guess I’ll never rush through a post again. Send all kinds of bad messages about myself. Good grief!
I wouldn’t mind being married one day. But you see, right now I am focusing on myself and my relationship with God and my career. I have a lot of stuff going on right now. Mainly marketing my books and trying to become a famous-ish author. I currently have no time for a man; not anymore.
Talk to old Esther from a year ago. She was hoping so hard to fall in love and find the man of her dreams. She stumbled every time a good looking man walked by. She cried during romance movies because she felt alone. She questioned God and asked Him why He would make her pretty if she was cursed to be alone. She was not happy. She spent her days daydreaming about a romance that would never happen. A romance meant for someone else, (in reference to my curse of always falling for the guys that are suddenly taken without warning). She did not love herself either. It took her loving and stern Sensei to kick her butt and teach her that she needed to acquire confidence and to only tell herself positive things.
No more, “I’m so stupid,” or, “I look ugly.” Esther was to change that stuff into, “I’m pretty awesome,” and “I look how God made me to look.” At first it was hard, but Esther had a kind Sensei who helped keep her in check.
So, Esther did these things. She wanted to be happy! She learned to love herself. Then she began to love God; for real. Now she loves God, and herself, and her life, and when things go wrong she holds God close in her heart and smiles through it. When she feels lonely she opens her Bible so God can talk to her and show her she is not alone. She loves God, and God loves her.
She then decided she wanted to open up her heart to other women who are in her same position.
The lonely women that cry when they think no one is looking. Single women that think they will grow too old to get married. Hurt women that have been trying and trying to make a relationship work and to find the love they long for.
I have walked in my shoes alone. I felt the grief. I’ve watched my sisters and friends get married and enter special relationships. I watched them from the sidelines and wondered, “Why am I the only one alone?” Just like I know you have also. I, too, walked with my head down hoping a man would be the one to make me look up and suddenly turn my life around. But that isn’t how it is supposed to work. It was never supposed to be that way.
No, I’m not lonely. I have all the love and company I need. I finally shut off my “Cute Guy” radar. It took SO long to do that, let me tell you what! But I want to be your proof that it is COMPLETELY possible to be single, waiting, and not sad, depressed, lonely, or hurting. You can smile and live an exciting life without the wallowing depression of, “Everybody has somebody but me,” that gnaws at our hearts and makes our smiles fade little by little.
Maybe I was a little long-winded on this post. That’s what I get for rushing through my Welcome post! Geeeeeeze. I’m always learning the hard way.
Buck-up, my fellow female friends! And whomever else is reading this.
Smile. Right now. Just a little. Do it!
There you go. You should at least be proud you survived all this reading! Now go and have a great day, a great week, and a great life.
Maybe God has someone out there for everyone, but not everyone is made to walk the same path. If I can walk alone and be an encouragement to other women then I will happily pass by all men without a backwards glance.
I pray God brings peace and comfort to your heart tonight.